Mental Health Matters!

I love it there. Seaford is down on the south coast between Newhaven and Eastbourne. It is a pebble beach, never very busy, and parking is free all along the seafront for up to 12 hours! It has a few coffee, ice cream and snack kiosks along the front, beach huts for hire, and the sailing club (which is sometimes open to the public, as well as its members). It also has a museum full of historical items and information inside the Martello Tower. It is nowhere near as busy as Brighton, Littlehampton, Worthing or Eastbourne, as there are no amusements or things to attract loads of families, so is a great place for a lovely quiet walk along the seafront.

You can take a short (or long!) lovely walk up to the chalk cliffs from the end of the beach, and the view from there on all sides is amazing. You are at the Seven Sisters Cliffs here, just along from Birling Gap and Beachy Head – other fantastic viewpoints to visit not far away.

There are some lovely benches to just sit in contemplation, or to relax and read, and a never-ending display of birds overhead to watch and listen to. I made a seagull friend this time, who walked alongside me all the way up the beach. Clearly thought I had some food to give away, but I didn’t! But he seemed to like me anyway.

A few hours walking along the seafront, reading a few chapters, having a coffee and chatting to a few strangers, and I felt fully refreshed and ready to face the rest of the week. There is nothing quite like the sea air, to brighten the spirit and calm the nerves.

I’ve also been lucky enough to visit the theatre with my mum to see Shirley Valentine for her birthday this month, been to a Michael Jackson tribute show with my sister for her birthday too, and visited a few gardens with friends and on my own – so I have practised what I am preaching this month!

Making Time for your Mental Health

As a younger person, I never saw the benefit of not ‘doing’ all the time. God forbid I had a Friday or Saturday night with nothing in the diary! As the years go on though, we learn that taking a little time here and there to do things that just make us happy, or to help us to relax (or just not do anything much at all!), can actually make us more effective and productive the rest of the time.

We have all had to overcome difficulties along our individual life journeys, whether that be poor health (physical and/or emotional), divorce, bereavement, financial issues, family problems, troubles at work, issues with our personal relationships or friendships, childhood difficulties, environmental problems, abuse – the list is endless. Keeping our mental health strong, really can be the difference between getting through these challenges or not, as we make our way through life.

Sometimes our heads can be so full of the ‘must dos’ and ‘should dos’ that we end up not achieving very much at all. These days too, with the internet, email, social media (Facebook, Tiktok, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat), Whatsapp, online shopping, other apps, games etc - everything is so fast paced, and we are expected to response to others demands much more quickly than in times gone by. Everything is so instant too – our brains don’t always have the processing time that we used to have, to think properly, make decisions and respond to requests, and so stress can be high, along with others expectations. We need to find a way to reduce all the demands placed on our mental health, and to allow ourselves time to deal with these most effectively.

We must learn ways to set boundaries. To decide what are our working hours, and ‘time out’ hours. When to respond and when to just breathe and consider our reply first. When to be available and when to switch off for a bit. When to be busy, and when to be quiet. Some stress is wonderful for us, because it is what gets us up in the mornings, keeps us motivated, and makes us productive. Too much though, becomes unhealthy, making us feel unsatisfied and unfulfilled, as we try to achieve more than we are able to, by setting unrealistic goals for ourselves.

As the saying goes “You can’t pour from an empty cup” – so make sure your cup is regularly topped up – then you can help to fill others up too, and everyone is well. It’s ok to tell someone you can help them, but not right now. It’s ok to take an hour out just for yourself to breathe and catch up. It’s ok to say no to an invitation sometimes, or to re-arrange a plan if you feel you are not able to relax enough to enjoy it at that moment. Be there for all the folk you love – its important – but remember to love yourself too! Try to nurture friendships and other relationships where you are appreciated and where your individuality is embraced, and limit time with those that affect your energy in a negative way. Try to learn to enjoy time alone too – it is such an important skill to have in this world.

Other Things we can do to help with our Mental Health

Many other factors are important too, when looking at our mental health.

Good sleep is vital to our mental wellbeing. If we have continued interrupted or poor quality sleep, this can affect our mood, how we deal with others, our weight, our immunity and how productive we are. Keep away from stimulants such as coffee and alcohol before bed, cut down on screen time and maybe have a bath, listen to music, read a book or maybe listen to a podcast or audio book before you go to bed. Aromatherapy blends can help you too. Keep a cool bedroom, and perhaps sleep with a window slightly open to get some fresh air.

Food is also important. The healthier we eat, the better we generally feel. Dark chocolate is my addiction, so I do have at least 2 squares of this every day! But balance is the key, and if you are getting plenty of fresh vegetables and fruit, and getting all your vitamins, fibre, protein, fats and carbohydrates in your diet, then you can have the odd treat. If you are able to keep a fair few hours between your last meal in the evening and your first meal the next day, this also helps the body to process your food in the most effective way.

Exercise is also great for our mental health. These days I tend to just walk, but whatever you enjoy – gym work, cycling, running, team sport, dancing, yoga – all of these help support our mental health. When we move our bodies we feel good… especially if we can do it outdoors too! If you are not able to get out, or get to classes, there are many options online these days via Zoom or YouTube. Meditation and breathing classes can also help us with relaxation techniques. Maybe commit to doing something with a friend to encourage you to keep it up – and choose something you enjoy! I don’t like the gym, so I would rather walk or dance – but everyone is different – so pick the thing that you are most likely to stick with!

Making time for our hobbies and other interests we enjoy, are always good for our mental health too. It might be a craft, sport, cooking, theatre, music, photography, travel, reading, pottery, board games or whatever other things outside of your home life and work life bring you joy – these should be things you make time for.

Keeping up with friends and family is also very important for us – it was difficult through the Covid years and various lockdowns, and we have all needed to re-adapt to connecting with our nearest and dearest. We all need to reach out sometimes too, if our mental health is struggling. Sometimes just a hug or a kind word can set us back on a more positive course. Kindness makes all the difference, and reaching out when we feel vulnerable is a strength, not a weakness.